Thursday, March 24, 2011

A Mind That is Blue as the San Diego Sky

The past drifts and changes like the clouds. Our minds conjure delusion upon delusion as we categorize/criticize any particular phenomenon in our memories. Yet we're as changeable as the clouds. Our personal and collective past become like the white light of clouds, transforming at every moment; obscurations to direct clarity of sunlight, of Truth—lost, for many moments or hours.

Like entities being born, thriving, then fading to a wisp before our very eyes in a few seconds.

Like trying to find your way amongst sand dunes: a wind comes along and the whole geography becomes another planet. Life is feeling more and more like that—groundless.

Yet Pema Chodron, the Western Buddhist nun at Gampo Abbey in Nova Scotia, teaches that we must accustom ourselves to this groundlessness. NOTHING to hang on to. No ONE. No THING.

Big fat fear.

Sky-gazing for a long time. Sky mind. Cloudy, grey? Fluffed white and San Diego blue? A blue that goes on forever. May Father Sky imprint his story on my mindstream. O Mother Earth, you give me my life.

Healing means letting go of a cloud.

Friday, March 4, 2011

So She Says Ta Me

So she says ta me, It Just Is

She’s got lots of money, but she doesn’t.
So she says ta me, It Just Is.

Ten thousand civilians killed
in Afghanistan.
Not doin’ a thing.
So she says ta me, It Just Is.

Two years in a row with zero increase
to live in a dying empire.
So she says ta me, It Just Is.

Prisons are stuffed to the gills.
So she says ta me, It Just Is.

A river of beings in a murk of a flow.
They Go.
So she says ta me, It Just Is.

Traumatized at birth, she pulled in 
from the world.
So she says ta me, It Just Is.

The drench of a rain down the trunk
of that tree.
So she says ta me, It Just Is.

Someone who hears how the rain
washes pain.
So she says ta me, It Just Is.

She tells her Buddhist psychologist
about a recent meltdown.
So she says ta me, It Just Is.

Her horses were wild,
but they’re now reconciled.
She Charioteers by watching her breath.
So she says ta me, It Just Is.

mickey morgan
new moon
30th day of 13th moon, 2137
waxing moon

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Letting Go

Well, I just have to speak up about Letting Go. I've never in my life had so many inner and outer and unilar opportunities to let go, to cleanse, to struggle, and wail, and pity myself . . . but to keep going because I had to, and was committed to, and could not expect any other to shoulder the burden of me in this lifetime, with my unique pile of issues—a pile of laundry to separate into whites and blacks. Yet I decided to wash everything together . . . and most of it still sits behind me in a pile, waiting to be folded and put away after a week.
That too has been Let Go. It's ok. I said it was ok to me. To spend the ever-churning days and nights practicing watching my breath, or saying mantras and practices in front of this altar I've designed, saying the practices according to a pre-devised, 30-day schedule for the lunar month. This is the biggest part of the day. This is my job as I lay in my bed. I go to work with my routine of mundane responsibilities, like everyone else with a home, then the spiritual work begins and lasts until about 2pm, then begins about 9pm till 11 . . . then I sleep by watching my breath.
Who else lives like this? Alone? With similar intentions? Have I let go of the World? Or has the World let go of me? Either way, letting go is the way to go.
May your heart open so all can see your natural, uncontrived nature, your Buddha nature. Let go of your life at every exhale says Pema Chodron. Be ready to die at every exhalation. And be ok with it. 
I discovered a few days ago that I would just give up on my expectations of the results of an important issue. Ok. I let go. Go on. Don't look back. And kawumph. Gift from the Universe on Tuesday, gift from the Universe on Wednesday afternoon, gift from the Universe on Wednesday night. This is no new teaching, but it is the first time I have experienced it.
Prayers? Meditations? Watching breath? Sending out healing light to others? I'm so grateful to be physically and mentally in contention with the Universe. The choice is clear: The World or The Path. I choose the path and whatever serves it. I am inspired that the Universal loving forces have heard my sob-filled requests. I offer my tears to the Grandmothers.